Wednesday, March 25, 2009

GBE 81 - Fears

Heh... This caught me with my mask off so this is getting written without me going back and editing the crap out of it. Going back and making sure all my words "sound" right.

I have two fears; not fears such as fear of the dark, or heights, or flying, or going out, etc, etc. I don't even have a fear of making friends. My first fear is losing friends. People have a tendency to fade away. I think it is because of my nature. I am quiet. I don't say a lot, only when something needs to be said.

This is true of both of my off and online personalities (which are the fucking same). I have gotten better, but I fear that I don't hold people's interest after a while. So in time I hear less and less from them. See, my friends here (my close ones) are friends. Like my offline ones. No differentiation. I guess I shouldn't worry, but I do.

I have lyrics in my status from the group Suicidal Tendencies.

"I talk through my eyes, the words pourin' out. Nobody hears.
You ask me what's wrong, but what can I say? Nobody hears."

I heard the song and looked the lyrics up. It fits me.

Just because I'm quiet doesn't mean I have nothing to say. Just because I read a blog and don't get it because people are talking of histories I have no clue of but others do, doesn't mean I'm not blown away by the words. Do you know what it feels like when you feel like you're being ignored... dismissed?

My second fear: Growing old alone. And that is my own problem, so I won't say anything more on it.

I read where "it's important that we tell our stories". Little bits of mine are coming out.

Well, lunch break is over. Let me pull my mask down again and be happy. :D Put my fears to the side.

Now for your listening pleasure: Iron Maiden's Fear of the Dark. This is a rocking song. UP THE IRONS!

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