I have never lived my life as a woulda, coulda, shoulda guy, but when I read the prompt it got me thinking.
What would my life have been like had I never gotten on that tetherball pole? A little backstory...
Have you ever
rocked back and forth on one of these poles? In
the 7th grade, M and I were messing around during recess. M jumped off and I got a lesson in balance. I
met the pole, or rather my forehead did. Lots of blood. It was about 6
months later when I had my first seizure.
After
a battery of
tests, the doctor asked my mom if I'd ever been hit on my forehead. She
relayed how when I was 3, I'd been running through the house and had
slipped and fallen into the corner of the dresser, requiring stitches.
Then when I was about 6, I jumped off the fountain at the mall and
landed on the same spot. Damn, I was an idiot.
According to my EEG's, in that exact spot the tests picked up electrical surges that showed the location of what was causing my Gran Mal seizures. The last hit had "damaged" my brain.
I
was 14 and it took until I was close to 18 (1979) before I found that perfect
"cocktail" of meds. I had 1 seizure in 1988, when my doctor noticed my blood tests showed one of my drugs as toxic and she cut it back. In 3 weeks I had a seizure and afterward went back to my normal dosage. Even though I went back to the same dosage, my blood work was normal the next time. As my doctor said, she should have listened to my body. I have been
seizure-free since then, which is something I'm damn proud of!
I
did change my lifestyle. I have never had alcohol or any hard drugs. In college I tried pot, but it did nothing for me. When I was in middle and high school, I did not go
to parties or dates out of fear someone would have a twisted sense of
humor and spike my drink. I withdrew into my books and music. I also became routine oriented
(something that would drive my friends that didn't know about my condition nuts), because keeping a routine is needed in my life. Plus not having my drivers permit in high school always brought up questions.
I'm
lucky. From the outside, people cannot tell I have epilepsy. Most
people think I'm a pothead, due to my meds which are both barbiturates. I'm frequently asked "Where do you get your stuff?". lol.
I try not to think about it that much. I have a good life. 😉
But what if? 🤔
